New year, no goals

Well well... this is quite a title to kick off a fresh year. But hear me out here.

To be honest, I never really saw the new years as a chance to start over. Anytime is a good time to start over. Bad habits can be broken the same day. Good habits can start in the next 60 seconds.

But why no goals?

I can't quite answer that question as yet. It's like building a house. You kinda need a strong foundation before even starting your build. To make things even more complicated, I don't even know if I want to build this metaphorical house. What a conundrum right?

My context is also a bit confusing right now. I'm coming back home from a life of constant change on the road. And home hasn't changed much nor does it want to change lol. So what to do?

Try something else

As we all kinda know, doing nothing is actually doing something. Sitting down and choosing not to eat means your body doesn't get the necessary energy, vitamins and minerals. Sure, fasting for a couple of days or even a month can be magical and might even bring nirvana but it's not sustainable. Well, from my knowledge.

So back to setting goals I guess. Fck, there's no running away lol.

Back to stupid goals

To be fair, I really like goals but right now, they don't seem very doable. The external environment is limiting options at the moment. And yes, I'm talking about the pandemic. Yes, there are things you can't control. Rain and Cold don't go away because you dislike it lol.

So I'll do something different. I'll broader and more flexible goals because I just don't feel so sure about things. I actually have a few important questions I answered recently. I got them from a workshop I attended in Costa Rica three years ago. I finally put them to use.

  1. What kind of world do you want to live in?
  2. What are you doing to make the world that way?
  3. What are the steps you need to take?
  4. What are the gatekeeper/obstacles?
  5. What do you need to do to overcome the obstacles?

In retrospect

I'm connecting some dots now. It's just speculation but I think I ditched all my previous goals before because I realized life is about experiencing. So I decided to enjoy it by backpacking. It was fun. Every time I felt things weren't how I like them, I moved. And now I can't really do that lol.

But I can move my pawns and prepare for an attack, kind like the opening of chess game.

And just be patient till everything lines up.